(from the cycle entitled “Contemporary Myth”)
There is an old Swedish legion
that speaks of the way that the Swedish wrapped their children in their scarves before they went outside
from the bottom of their neck
round and around
over the mouth right under the nose
there was the idea that it would keep them
from having the cold wind reach in their mouths
and steal their souls
wrapped in love
surrounded in cold
which brings me to the story…
Amostor was the god with the power to rule Abyss-the chaos of the old cosmogonies. He could move the universe with his thoughts as well as bring joy or sorrow to anyone he choose. Intellectual and moral depths of his kingdom gave him capability to redirect the minds by steering the thoughts–with great strength… He was capable of freezing the hearts … whether it was because of hatred or of sympathy. A bit glutinous and pompous but gentile with a hidden sympathy for those who lost their way. His messenger, angel Nuser, followed his words through the air aiming and dropping upon his target. Mostofanes was a guard of Amostor’s kingdom. He was protecting this … Box of mystery and power. God Amostor didn’t feel the need to leave his high top setting if he didn’t have to.
Mostofanes sits on top of this mountain, resting, and glances out across the waters of life… his eyes fall upon this broken vision of what is pure, true beauty: the face stained with tears, she stares at the water as if it held the answers to all her problems. Her cloths fall loosely upon her skin. Mostofanes sees her beautiful olive skin and he grows jealous of her, but he is also overwhelmed by her obvious suffering within. He moves closer.
Alistomeda’s sobs echo across the water, it is the sound that shakes mountains and make animals run. Her love was her sun and moon. The thought of being without him was the most terrifying, agonizing future that smothered her, stealing her breath and tainting her site. Her hair feels heavy upon her head, her skin feels empty– if you can imagine such a thing. This love of her life… Gone, left her, and walked away without even a glance. She sings:
…dying when you are already dead
how is it that you feel when you are dying
but you are already dead
1000 flashes of my life dance before my eyes
my life experiences with you
memories, you can touch the time
too short for you, too short for us
my body aches for this hollow cold shell you left behind
dying when you are already dead
you don’t feel anything
I want this ocean to swallow me whole
examining this explainable world
it brought me to life
let me grow
let you find me
and now will ultimately hold my hand
as I sink into the underworld
it really isn’t dying
cause I already feel dead
my death came a long long time ago…
The guard Mostofanes watches this tragedy open before his eyes. He is frozen with desperation as he trips running backwards not wanting to remove his eyes from her form. He returns to god Amostor with the speed of urgency. He needs to warn Amostor, to stop what is about to become, this death… this death can’t happen, this death must stop, he must stop it now! Amostor needs to send his angel Nuser to sway this woman out of the tragic end! Mostofanes quickly explains to Amostor this vision of parallelizing pain and beauty, and brings him to the mountain top where his eyes first fell upon Alistomeda.
She slowly slides her bulky wrap off her shoulders and it falls to the ground. She walks slowly towards the water as the waves meet her feet half way. God Amostor releases this breath that rings the bells in Rome… the breath that blows the wind through Alistomeda’s hair. Amostor’s thoughts don’t even finish crossing his mind as angel Nuser floats down to the ocean surface and holds his hand flat against the wet surface… The frozen moment becomes a combination of memory and voices that melts into the pale blue sky…. It echoes through out the land and time and burns in the ears of lovers.
This beauty and internal goodness was something that god Amostor did not want to be wasted, but this inevitable outcome was something god Amostor could not change without the consequences. If he saved Alistomeda now, her misery that was shaking her soul, would instantly return the minute she wake up. If he saved her now, she would be suffering forever feeling already dead. So he watched as her feet pace sank into the wet sand from a walk to a run towards the water, but as she leaped into mid air angel Nuser shot across the water top with a cloak of angle kisses. He wrapped it around her as god Amostor frized the water that drank her skin. This cocoon would be her eternity now.
Alistomeda was brought to Amostor’s castle, where he had a room prepared for her. Upon this alter she lay. Amostor gazed upon this vision of beauty. He was her guardian now, she had no need to feel sadness or pain. He was going to keep all the pain away. Only the echo still carries the song throughout the land and time:
You stopped on the top of this mountain
and touched the grass
silky soft and fresh
you lay down and look at the sky
sun sparked towards you
touching your face
friendly butterflies landed on your hand
whispering your lover’s
the sound of the wings moved the wind,
and the wind brought to you the smell of the mountain flowers
that you once held in your hand
I am a powerful god. God Amostor.
I feel the need to do nothing
I want you to close your eyes
and try to bring the happy memories
I can help you to find a home again… strong solid safe
it will not be your home, the home that was known before
this home will bring you a peace
the angel kissed cloche that wraps around you, your crystal ice coffin that encased you, will keep the misery from controlling your soul.
The echo still carries the song throughout the land and time. All you need to do is to
close your eyes and you can hear the heart singing. Listen…isn’t it so pretty, isn’t it so calm, so peaceful….
I close my eyes and I am 17 years old…
Its winter and Loveland Colorado. My first heart destruction.
I loved him, and honestly, in a selfish type of way…I still do.
It is cold and I am numb, my scarf is wrapped
Starting at the base of my neck up round and around to under my nose
I can see his tale lights leave my drive way.
I look up to see the Northern Lightish stars. My lips will never whisper his name again.
Tears freeze before they have a chance to run down my face.
But the cold brings the calm, it numbs the pain… and things just don’t seem and sound so bad……